I Don't Care

Its all over now,
Fame, money, love, care,
Promises, trust, faith, vow,
Now I exist, nowhere.
Like the dried leaves rustle,
Then a spark cause fire,
Like the dead heart hustle,
Then a arrow make a vire.
I walked those a thousand like miles,
I creeped for everything good,
I struggled for my life to affiles,
Gathering those fake ornaments of coralwood.
You all just show support for a purpose,
Now, keep that deep inside your pockets,
Cuz your heart is too small for those heavy dose,
Or what u can do is, make a time being docket.
'Can you just tell what's wrong with you,
And why all of your poetry are so blue?'
(Ohh here you come again,
Really curious? Or just wanna hangout with my pain)
'blue poetry! The whole world is blue buddy,
Wanna make it red? Wanna celebrate or be bloody'
'I am not getting you, what are you saying,
What season are you through? Haying?'
'Ok, so you wanna know, what's there,
Let me recite, where my soul and pain cohere,
I feel like, burning inside,
Just wanna listen to shouts, by the brook side,
Everyone is playing me,
Surprised? Say gee,
I walk the silence stairs,
I peek the cruel stares,
Everyone has got a justification,
But I don't wanna listen to any of them,
Don't ask why? Wait. Let me tell
Ya, because it justifies them, and to rest its "Go To Hell",
Reason, cruelty and greed everywhere,
And money, they want in a hypersphere,
Sometimes I just feel to kill someone,
But I don't wanna outgrow Hitler, and be in lonesome,
Like tear them out, cut their flesh,
Drink their blood, and roar, bash,
There is a storm inside my head,
Don't compell me share my life. Its dread,
Everyone one is rushing,
But you know where do life rush? (sushing),
To death. The extreme joy,
Have you ever tasted it boy?
Its really calm, beautiful and fun,
Don't believe? Then why do whosoever dies forget to return?
You all will die some day,
That day, all of your "Life" will go away,
Its so great, it come same to all,
Be you take yourselves as to be brave, intelligent, great or tall,
But why humans turned the way they are,
Are you down there? Or I've came too far?
The bright souls are sleeping as dark slaves,
It'll all end up in the nature's graves,
So, now I don't care,
Any relation, religion, love or affair,
...'
'You're really gone,
By brain, not any muscle or bone,
Can I help you, in any way?
Ok not blue or red. How about grey?'
'ohh, you wanna help me,
What will you offer, tell me,
Cheap sex, red wine,
Or dark poison? Well, I don't mind,
Set me on fire, fry,
Beat me with blades, make me cry,
Poison will help, else,
If you want me to depulse,
Listen, do this for me,
Start living, don't yell as gimme,
Remove all these boundaries,
Religions, communities, race, gender, places, beliefs or countries,
Discuss ideas, not people,
Life is a ball, keep it on dribble,
Keep going on, make it worth living,
Stop taking, develope habit of giving,
Heaven is a place on earth with you,
Tell me if its not just true,
Learn to sacrife, don't worry for loss,
There no other destination then death. Make a toss!
Live it the way its meant to be,
Don't spend it, don't be crazy,
Or do whatever you want,
I don't wanna speak up, to be upfront,
Let me breath with rain,
Let me dance with pain,
Let me cry on what I've gained,
Let me enjoy, counting what I've stained,
Let me sit aside,
Watch you all hide,
Let me grawl,
Let me see love crawl,
Let me lie restless,
Let me drive reckless,
Let me tear this fake dress,
Let me break this heart necklace,
Let me set fire to the world,
This, which spin, twirl,
Let me love the disaster,
Let me bring death a bit faster,
You are still here? Go!
There stands the life, row'.

Thank You, Cruel World

'white lips, pale face,
Breathing in snow flakes',
Ed you describes me well,
This world, am living in, this hell,
These pictures, on the past-wall,
Beautiful now? Not at all,
Those memories, those smiles I had,
'you are my angel', my dad,
Turned black by the world so bad,
Sadly, now the angel is dead,
It was just an another beautiful morrow,
What did it gave? Pain, injustice, grief and sorrow!
Off the fans, dim the lights, shut the doors,
I don't want be out anymore,
Don't even stand by,and dare you to knock,
If you do, be ready for the alpenstock,
Just let me get away,
From what? Those murmurs and affray,
I don't like this sunlight,
Okay now! Hold me tight,
Else I will fall,
And give me a stiff cowl,
I don't trust these smiles you wear anymore,
You, you, you, and you all, what do you count it as? Your score?!
Somebody please call my dad,
For the sake of humanity, if you even had,
I don't feel safe anywhere now,
What are you talking about? That false vow?!
Ohh! Here dad. Come fast,
Make it up, before this body last,
"ya, doll what's the matter,
Stop crying, control this stammer, and utter,
Okay! Okay! Okay! Enough hugs,
What's this, louden this chugs"
I don't wanna say anything,
Is even there something left for? No nothing!
"dad! I wanted to say... That."
"okay! Speak it up. Don't be a bad hat"
What should I utter,
Yes what? These clutter?
Let these scratches shout,
Tell him, what's this all about,
There he goes, like me, numb,
I shout,"those shameless, brutal, beasts, those crumb"
"how?!", with those tears and forehead scar,
Then I recites him the worst story so far,
"don't let this out dear, don't"
I have to nodd, "yes, I won't!"
"you've to get married, don't get unacceptable"
Look who decides it. Those bloody amortizable,
He gets out. Marriage?! Hell no.!
And the reason?! Unacceptable. Ohh!
It just pass like that,
Wham, bam, and what? Guess. Splat,
It doesn't get booked,
Thanks to the society out, crooked,
Ya that f#<{!^g society,
What did it gave? This half paralysed body and anxiety,
You, outside, who always brag about standards and justice,
Save the world. Go. Apply a poultice,
Where did it drowned now. Lost it somewhere?
No? I know. Yes? Why are you arear,
Gently, pick up those heavy papers, the book, the cases,
And do one thing, please. Roll it and shove it up your @$$#$,
Now I don't believe you, anyone,
I say, there are always strings attached, to everyone,
Someone please stand up and fight back,
No one? Ok. Let me cry, paint this picture and put it in my rack,
I don't live now, I just survive,
Hopes, dreams? No. No more acclive,
I breath, it stales,
I climb, it fails,
You be proud, what are you worried about,
I guarantee, no one, not even myself will shout,
You roam, free, have fun,
I guarantee, no one, not even myself will listen,
Because, even I I will ask to,
"its your fault", they'll alto,
They'll listen, and pay attention,
When I commit suicide? I know its an ademption,
You know what? I don't care,
Let there be a social warfare,
Let me shout, am baked,
Let me die, I am girl who was raped.

Heart-Break

Its raining out,alkaline
With a heat flowing, upside down,
Some floods, washing out hearts,
With the brain playing darts,
A little fog in the eyes,
And a little pain, on the bed sides,
The arms numb,
Some of the breath storms,
Taking a silent perspiration shape
Yes! It's a heart Break.
Ok its better it to be talked 'bout,
Let me whisper what my heart shout,
It's not that am not happy,
No! But its better now, not to sound creepy,
You better go, live,
It's not a big deal, all you shook, is just my belief,
It's just a stomp, hard and heart one,
It's gone, its all done,
You know,those days, how time used to fly,
And now, the same slowed down it's pace, as I started to cry.
Wait! Cry! No, no, don't misinterpret,
It's just a photograph threat,
The life photograph threat,
That our pain, grief, regret, remorse, happiness create.
It was just yesterday,
Yes when the time was all gay,
When my bike seat got your habitual,
It just turned out an incident, not even auditual,
Now, I'll not remember those times,
The glory, the mistake and happy times,
The free birds of Jove,
Because that's just the glory of love,
"You never get one you want to have always,
But you crap out, to those who actually want you"
I am happy that you settled down,
Finally found someone to take to the ball, with your red gown,
I pray, he cares for you as I did,
Then, I can say, its really, splendid,
I hope, he loves you as I do,
Because such portions of the graph don't have a undo,
I guess, he give you things,
No matter, steal or brings,
Which I didn't give to you,
That sugar and the Chou,
I believe, your dreams are finally gonna be true,
Thank god, because, with me, they might had end up just a part of the queue,
Dear friend, why are you still so worried,
You are one day going to be his bride,
Still worried! Ok, I have a life-hack,
You live, freely, fearless, I'll always be there to get your back.
Ok now, I guess you should leave.
Stop, listen!
I know I'll not be the most special person in your life,
Nor I want to be,
But I expect, you to remember this face,
And wave a hand to me,
And if someone says my name,
You smile and say, 'Hey! That's my friend'
Don't forget me, baby,
It's just a cycle,
"Sometimes it last in love,
And sometimes, its just hurts and stay"
You find him,
I'll search, again, someone like you.
I'll still not remember the ake,
Cuz its not a heart break,
No its its not a heart break,
Oh my god! Yes! It's a heart break.

The Fade-Pink Evenings

Molten-Grievances

Sometimes, we come across some people, some of the strange lives who force you to think, the course of human life.
The perfect life we want, is out there, in front of our eyes, but we are somehow unable to cross those barriers and are always left at the other side, in pain, wondering, WHEN?
Better, don't wait, and break it, it might hurt once or twice, but who cares man! At-least you would be there, where you always wanted to be. 

The 7-Word Poem

Whatsoever we see,
It's not always there.
Whatsoever we feel,
It is always fake.
Whatsoever we care,
Actually it's all nothing.
Whatsoever troubles us,
It's only our mind.
Whatsoever we enjoy,
It's just an hallucination.
Whatsoever our age,
We'll always die young.
because,
Whatsoever we are,
We are not real.

BEING UNDERWATER

At the mid-caribbean
I was below the waterline of a ship
Being determined to touch land this day.

I was deep diving,
Lost in observation.

In euphotic depth,
I couldnot find any phytoplankton,
I saw corpse of a whale,
Provided an enormous feast for deep sea creatures.

My red swim suit appeared dark,
My white swim fin appeared blue,
I realized visible light has diminished,
And i am in the twilight zone
Floating, swirling, zooming shimmers of light,
Mesmerised me
Benefitting an anglerfish to find mates.

The coldness of water
Gave me an adrenaline rush
And i realized i am at a greater depth
I sat on a bluish cast pillow lava
And found animals navigating through sound.

And there, on the truncations of layers,
Overlapping, astonishing, mobile water layers,
I got into a different world,
I got into my destiny,
I got into my dream island.

The Deep-Sad-Vigilance

She Lives The Poetry She Cannot Write

In the hot, terrific, scorching days,
I see you there, sitting, in the middle,
A strange, absurd, outta-bag expression,
Remains the geo of your face,
You are always smiling,
But deep inside your eyes,
I can see you sad, even when you smile,
This mean and cruel world had been hard on you,
You always look back deep in your past,
Which takes away your glow,
A thick fluid like flowing through your heart,
Your lips trying hard to open,
Like they want to just shout out loud,
Eyes filled with the saline water,
Deep inside like you just wanna cry, out aloud,
Your forehead shrank,
Things never went your way,
You always try living the life that your past could never had,
You are always scared,
Like a nightmare, you just woke up from,
You paint your nails black,
Your house black, and even your ball dress black,
Your smile black, with your lips red,
I tried to think, but can't get, why. Blood?
I have seen your like a thousand shades,
When you lie flat on the beach sand,
Over the hound island,
When you swim across pain,
When you crosses the emotion's lane,
When you sit silently in the park,
When you have that sweet lark,
When you walk dipped in thoughts,
When this world, really, no aught,
When you turn and smile,
Can't forget that pretty while,
No matter what's the situation,
You always ensure if I am alright,
At times, I have seen you crying hard,
Some of the blues playing in the back,
A little of the red wine spilled over,
Various of the antique jars broken,
With the broken glass having reflection of injustice,
The walls scratched with stories,
The snaps muffled with worries,
Everytime I close my eyes,
I see you there,
Crumbled, silent, in the dark paradise,
Couched on the other side,
I've seen your heart beats on your hands,
When you have a blind vigilance,
'what are you worried for,
You got me,
I am here, 'll be there,
Wherever you want me to be,
You just have to sail along,
I promise to resolve your life'.
Your life is still a 'x' for me.

The Hard-Black Scratches

Paddling On Beach

There is nothing more soothing and pleasant than paddling across the beach in a beautiful morning with your elder sister. A small one for your birthday, sister..

Bob Marley

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you are riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts. Put your vision to reality. Wake up and Live!

An Affection

This Relation Can't Be Replaced

Really, when I walk back into time,
Into my childhood,
Sweet memories strikes my mind,
I find that one girl, that one great girl, whom I had the best days of my life.
This one for my sisters.

We both had a habit of complaining,
Seriously not the entertaining.
Complaints about the bunks,
Leaving me in blue funks.
The mischief sweet conspiracy,
To get into the mom's abbacy,
Made just to get each other scolded by mom,
And finally ended up in our room.
You are my best friend,
To my life, you append,
When I bullied you, and you kept serving balls while I batted in the backyard for hours,
And finally turning the bat into armours.
You always tried to drag down the secrets,
 so that you can use them to have a favour, well you get,
And really, we were really the night mare for the whole house,
Scaring each other, 'see there's a mouse'.
Those, 'blue-pink' fights, when our room got the paints,
And then dreaming about the mighty giants,
When we both rolled up the quilt under our hips,
And then making promises, to get the grips.
When our night fights disturbed the whole family,
After being scolded, we laughed and whispered dimly,
We collectively torn apart the pillow covers,
Hitting each other with the books with hard cover.
Messed up the walls, with food,
And then, silently, staring each other, stood,
The cat snatch for the tv remote,
And then turning a dice to have the block vote,
Not just the television,
It was with all, adression,
the Walkman, computers and video games too,
And with the same intense argue.
We both tried to teach bicycle to each other,
Not going much more farther,
Doesn't matter, none of both actually knew,
And then tying the kite to the back of it, and cheered, 'yeah! It flew'.
I felt guilty, went some of my pranks went wrong and u fell in trouble,
But still the sentiments were arguable,
And then you again, making false tears,
Repeating the same gears,
Convincing the parents, made excuses,
Till they please or confuses.
And those, 'no, it was his fault',
'no, it was her fault',
Repeated for hours,
Struggling for powers,
Till we both got scolded,
And again, in our bed sheets we get folded.
My heart sank whenever I hurt you,
To apologise, I offered a sou,
Sometimes, being egostick, we didn't apologize,
Proving ourself to be more wise.
And everytime I had my friends visited at house,
Just like the cat and mouse,
you opened up my embarrassing secrets,
But still, no regrets.
I know, those were just to make fun and tease me,
Well its nothing in front, when you alwasy hepled and pleased me,
Everytime dad got us a softy,
And you imposed your lofty,
Always offering the last bite of yours for me,
And I always had it, I agree.
And those power cuts,
And you said,'lets act out',
They simply meant, we had nothing to do at night,
Nothing better than those pillow fight,
We were free,
And there, you always started your ghost stories,
And then asking, 'btao bacha, what are your worries',
And developing those childhood weapons,
No less than the cannons.
From anything, we fought
From brooms to bats to TV remote to rubber band to slippers to water bottles and to what not?!
Your frightful tease,
And then the convincing please,
And the time when you always used to say,
Sometimes alday,
'tuhjhe madir k pass, kachre k dibbe se utha k laye the'.
And I said, 'jaa be'.
And everytime, we were out,
Various topics talking about,
You always hold up ur card being elder,
Just like a baby minder,
Made me to do things your way,
And all I had to do was, stay.
And when , I grew up, you were the one with whom I played the mirror game,
No matter, how much popular I was in school,
You really knew my talents, my weak points, better than anyone else.
You always put up the things,
For which I am afraid to, sorting out my difficulties.
Really, how grown up I was,
But still I cried like a baby on your marriage,
Several past memories just make me think,
About those great times,
In our room, the best place we lived together.

Love you sister. Really there are certain things above humanity.

My Beautiful Woman

She may not be the smartest, or the most attractive, but she is the most beautiful, a beauty that resides inside her, something which makes her really special, someone I respect the most, someone I love the most. She is my beautiful woman. This combination of poetry and painting, on a whole, dedicated to her. #mybeautifulwoman

The Black Pearl

A Pillow

It was another late evening when Himani texted me, ‘suggest me a topic for a poem to write’.

“elaborate a bit”, I texted.

‘u know, smthng cute n probably a non living thing rather’.

After having a thought over, I suggested, ‘a pillow or a winter’s cap or a jacket’.

And finally, it was a pillow.

We both decided to write, and ya! She wrote it much better.

Here’s mine.

I open my eyes and finds you

There, in my arms

Close to my chest,

Your touch like a chou,

Sweet, gentle and fluffy

Ur arms entwined with mine

Ur hand under my head

My legs been bent over your body

And there, u smile

And the lovely, words of puffing essence

Says aloud, please, a little long

Stay here, with me

And I smell your body

It scents like me

I just fill that scent into me

It forcibly shuts my eyes

And there, you give me another few

Minutes of life on the imagination carpet.

But sweetheart, I had to leave.

'Oh no please, don't go

Hug me once again

I can't be on myself here

Let’s once again lie

Close to each other

And travel to the effortless heaven'

But there, i leave you,

Miserable, crying

On the bed, alone

On the curvy sheets

I work the whole day

And finally gets, nothing

But the evidences to realization

That am nothing.

I have no good choice

Than to be there,

In your loving arms

I weep, my face ducked into your chest

I know, it feels a little warm there

With your body on me

But, its sooths more

When you place your hand on my forehead

And your eyes smiling the same

Ur body scenting the same

And you lie, motionless

With your head on my beating heart.

I rub my cheeks,

To and forth

U adjust yourself

We both make ourselves comfortable

And once again,

We have our mental silence

In each other arms

Hugging each other,

With bliss full happiness

And a sweet smile.

And, next morning,

Again you are there,

For me, in the spoon,

My puffy fluffy pillow.

PILLOW IS MY COMPANION

I could vividly remember

I never needed a pillow

Untill you had another child mumma

Your lap, and sometimes your hand had been my pillow

I would hold your soft bag like stomach tightly.

In some time 

I found my new pillow

To engage in sweet fights

With my siblings

And to hide chocolates, hair clips 

And occationally my test papers 

Under its covers

Early morning to cover my ears

To stop ringing alarms.

As life changed 

I found a new pillow 

To hide my feelings 

Guilt, anger, happiness

All my desires.

Growing up made me find 

Another new pillow

My valentine's gift

A heart shaped pillow

And would spend hours

Staring the pillow

As if 

Holding it tight 

Wetting it with tears 

Would bring him back.

Again, the arrival of my new pillow

The most comfortable one

My husband's hand

Assuming it to be my last pillow

But time changes everything.

N now i m here

Lying on my bed

Passing my golden age

Diseased, helpless

I still have a pillow

To support my corpse's head.

FROM KOTA LIFE...

The day has arrived
my true soul has come out
making me realize
the importance of my family.

See my true soul lies their...
their in my home,
beside my mother,
somewhere in my bedroom,
in chatting with mummy ji,
lost somewhere in understanding
yes the advice by my father and Rajdeep bhaiya,
servicing my grandpa and grandma
having dinner together,
in the garden early morning,
sometimes chatting and fighting with Shalini
with Surbhi and doraemon,
and watching, Avi bathing and crying,
in simply saying anything to Ankush bhaiya,
in sweet fights with Himanshu
for useless things,
in watching TV together and commenting.

Their role in my life
is something which can't be
expressed in words.
The memories are immortal
I am really missing my family.
I am missing, missing and missing...
missing my family.

Love Birds - II

Young Love

A BAD INCIDENT

Once upon in summer holidays
To get some praise
Tried to clean a cupboard of the kin
And was surprised as i began.

Eftsoons i found
Cash memos and tickets all around
Long years back useless quite
Carried from bangalore to bombay
then to neemuch, why might ?

The question almost gave a revolting pride
But neglected by my side
Hence the papers were torn
And the cupboard cleared.

All enthusiasm lost when he
searched for those precious things ,
Which were behind my understandings.

Listening that "I want to keep my life in front of me"
Made me remember a page (torn by my bro.)
saved from childhood till today.

Thinking to the shameless sight
Guiltiness reached the height.

When It Erodes

Its Not Too Far

Better to have a simple start

You Are My Friend

If you are grey, how can I be green,
If you say up, how can I go with down.
If ever I need someone,
You get by my side, and say, here I am.

Everytime when I low,
You cheer me up, only yow.
We both share our lives,
And nothing can come between us,
Separate, us, the two of us.

You've been my guide, my comforter
You cove up my faults,
Spend your time with me,
Match each one, like nuts and bolts.

I know, sometimes I make mistakes
But you silently cover them.
I give you things with all my heart,
I trust you blindly,
I'll always be there for you,
All you need, is just say my name loudly.

I am always proud of you,
You always give comfort to a broken heart,
You are my help, guide, everything,
You are my friend.

I'll always tell others how good you are
The best, my friend that's who you are.
Whenever something disturbs you,
Don't let you have a relieved sigh,
I'll change the world in accordance,
I'll sooth you up.

I'll always tell the nations,
The depth of your love
No one is bigger to me than you
Not even the God sitting above.

My friend, I am never gonna leave you,
We all always walk together,
To every situation, going through,
And make everything, to both of us, better.

Just love you, dear friend, with all my heart.

Love Birds

I wonder if i would have been a scarlet mascaw
And would have fallen for red kite
Who fetches volves and young hares
Near the area I nest.

I would see the elegant bird
Soaring on long wings held at dihedral.
One day, it might fetch me for dinner
And would fall for my innocence.

We would be together and together
Would fly long and long
To cross over oceans
And it realizing me tired
Would hold me in its legs
I would feel my belly feathers
Getting rubbed with its tail
And would feel the breeze
The cold breeze...

And we would rest over the Ven island
In the warmth of its fury feathers
Admiring the setting sun
And the orange sky.