PANGS OF LOVE

If it is not in my destiny to meet you
And this is your choice
Don't let me forget this
Let me live with this sorrow
Let me carry this pain.

Even when loud beats of music fills my ears
Even when I am surrounded by a crowd celebrating for me
Remind me i have not invited you
Let me live with this sorrow
Let me carry this pain.

Even when my pockets are full
Even when I have lost the capacity to gulp another spoon of my delicious dish
Remind me I have not served you
Let me live with this sorrow
Let me carry this pain.

Even when my cheeks starts paining due to lots of laughter
Even when I had been talking for hours
Remind me I didn't yet had a word with you
Let me live with this sorrow
Let me carry this pain.

Look Across

The 'Decent' Murderers

'Explain it'

'I don't know if I can, but I can try a bit'

'you are leaving us with no option'

Spoiler alert: Its another tale describing one to million

'Its true, yes, I'm into her'

'shut this stupid non-sense. What happened last night there?'

'I'll describe, but I'm afraid,

Afraid that none of you might understand,

Lets leave it to humanity. I shall proceed'

'shut up! What you did?'

'I went for a walk, probably into  unknown suburbs,

Proper moonlit night, tough road, many shrubs,

It was celebration of the fate, I was somehow invited,

Surrounded by other ladies, she was there, gently seated,

I saw her, then she returned the sight,

She was typical to get at one, beautiful soul, sad eyes, hands tied,

Breaths low, forehead drenched in sweat, ears blotched,

Crying eyes, burning brain, legs weak,

No shoes, shot down foots, probably stepped bleak,

Body with tags, hungry heart, a watch on wrist,

Scratched linen, sparkling neighbors, tragic gist,

Dried lips, face colorless, red back'

'Is he diverting us? Shut the f#©< up, and get back'

'I approached, "May I join you?",

Her dissapointed eyes, squeezed heart, happy hands though,

"will you be able, its tough, this pain. No you can't!", she probably checked.

"You, get his stuff packed"

"I can, I surely can"

"Go. Go away, and impress some other, lies don't work on me, not a fan",

"Hold this hand. I promise to walk till end"

She held. Shaking nerves, weak fingers, she was probably terrified,

I played the blues. And...and we danced,

We danced till our legs didn't stopped,

We kissed, till our heart ached,

We traveled to infinity,

A place beyond the controls of deity,

We were ahead of time,

I felt her soul, she did mine,

We experienced immortality,

We shared pain, given by the city,

The return was difficult,

Laid in darkness, finished in cult,

But we were compelled,

The clock ran out, well,

Sadly, she was lost,

I couldn't find her, I searched a lot,

She was divine. Above you all.

I returned, she didn't. She fell.

She fell into painful-heaven.

She saw a dark-light,

She won a lost-fight.

She was free. She found herself,

She broke your chains, I helped her myself,

She was an angel, just you saw a witch,

You've turned a many of 'em, I'm sure of which,

Now its time for me to smile, and accept,

Yes I loved her. Like a magic, infact'

'why the hell are you laughing?'

'Look at you, stunned. I knew you won't understand'

'We don't care to. All we want to know is, if you did or not?',

'yes I did. I can roar that'

'Any apologies for bringing this shame to our society'

'I'm proud of it. Better you remove that strip off your eyes'

'Funny. Any last wish? Its on me'

'If you ever find her, convey this message, "I've left. Will meet you soon,

Waiting outside the oblivion of heaven and hell,

Just to see, which way you proceed,

I'll follow you there,

Cos I know, there's nothing like a heaven or hell,

But, you're BEAUTIFUL,

I'll miss you up there, but you better not die soon,

Live this new life,

Live it to the end. Bye", that's it'

'Execute'

A million of gun shots were recorded that day,

The sky turned yellow,

The land was painted red,

Most importantly, what newspaper read,

It was hilarious, on the face of humanity,

"A teenager broke into a brothel, managed to kidnap a prostitute. Found. Shot to death"

They killed a thought.

They ended up an era.

They.

They all.

The Longing

Loving you forever, can't be wrong; even though you're not here, I won't move on. - Lana Del Rey(from Dark Paradise)

The Ball

That Rain

Hold Me In Your Arms

Its A Gift To You

These mixed feeling, I'm typing down,
Really strange and funny, climbing up n down,
I saw you for the first time, about ten years from now,
And would be there forever, that's my vow,
But, feels like, you moved in, just a day or two
In your casuals, I'm not sure, green or blue
With your specs on, and with a hesitated smile,
To really capture that moment, it took me a while,
You walked in, after the assembly, with your cousin,
My eyes wide open and like time's frozen,
Your eyes had the view of the entire class,
Those shiny eyes, behind the glass,
But mine, just had you,
You, the beautiful, I'm not sure, green or blue.
Days passed, and then months,
Meanwhile my heart knitting that sweet labyrinths,
'i love a girl', I said,
With all the memory and courage I had,
'you are too young for it', said my cousin,
What he meant, he knew, I doesn't,
That day, left me with a question,
Far away from the premises of education,
'i'm too young to love someone',
What does he mean,
'What do I exactly need to have in?'
Like they say in chemistry, Sodium or Chlorine,
And meanwhile, I developed the habit of watching humans, beautiful ones,
Sitting right after your desk, waving my life in different tones,
The habit of watching beautiful cloud,
I just now said your name, heard it or want me to say it aloud,
Years after years I was growing,
The strange boat, along, was rowing,
And growing was my heart,
With you too becoming a beautiful part,
To me, you were a person, rest from the billions,
There, to you, I was a person, one among those rest-of-billions,
Everyday you walked in into the class,
Like disturbing my morning grass,
Like, I've achieved for which I was there,
Like, mine n your's hearts do really cohere,
I don't even remember when do we even became friends,
A sunny day, restless on Arabian sands,
Eventually you transformed from a cloud to a line,
These words describes you, or I can say, define,
Like that line, passing right from the heart,
Joining or separating the two parts,
Like they show in pictures,
Yes, right there,in those boring lectures,
I was damn crazy for any info about you,
I collected things, related to you,
And linked many along the way,
At least if not you, these are the things which are gonna stay,
Right from the last row,
In that silence, near the window,
From there, I watched you,
Now the girl, who always wore blue,
Loved that time, when we talked,
I've kept those memories safe, preserved, stocked,
Hearing your sweet giggle,
Melting the heart, creating a reigle,
And your eyes, my god your eyes,
I saw, and then, just time flies,
Sometimes I just looked into them,
And then silence, something like the anthem,
A perfect shape, and those browns inside,
And a magic, they really abide,
Strange power they got, noise cancellation,
There's no one around, giving you that type of sensation,
It seemed like, the world is still, and the crowd is silent,
I forgot the pain, sorrow or ailment,
I couldn't even used to hear to your words,
Neither the noises, traffic or the birds,
Those beautiful leafs, behind those glasses,
'Have a look as she passes',
Those group projects with you,
Full of energy like diet mountain dew,
Those giggling chit chats, entire lecture,
Those silly jokes, those magnificent laughters,
Those indirect sarcastic fights,
Squeezed my heart, held so tight,
All those memories, perfectly photographed,
Passed, when I cried, smile, worried, laughed,
Kept into my life's albums,
Whose pages turn over every moment, with the memory storms,
Whenever you passed by me,
That moment, like...'gee!',
My heart started pounding,
Audible to the ears, could hear it sounding,
Like, the whole of my inside would come out in a puke,
I'm still alive, maybe a fluke,
I felt so strong and so weak around you, both at the same time,
Both terrified and enthusiastic, at the same time,
Like a rain in summers, but like a storm at the reaping season, both, the same time,
Both in love and in pain, at the same time.
Sometimes when you cried, in the class,
I just can't let that memory pass,
Maybe because of the pain who have,
Or some deep scars, you secretly have,
I had strange conversations in my head,
I felt like wiping off your tears, experiencing your grief, feeling bad,
My brain, always saw the other part of you,
A part, which you could never see. Ya, not even you,
I loved to have debates with you,
That just because it showed me inside of you,
And took me to the person, who you were,
Your different shapes and the colors,
I never opened myself up, or got carried away,
Cuz I never found a reason, nor a way,
I never wanted to marry, then this love would have lead to what?
Ya that was tactic, 'love and shut'
I suffered just a part, called pain,
This arms, this chest, this brain,
I knew this love's gonna hurt,
Like a polished china in dirt,
But, what could I've done,
Serious things are never a fun,
Maybe that was the only thing, I knew a bit, love,
To keep it up, I sacrificed, maybe the white pigeon or the dove,
I am not way too smart maybe,
I am not way too handsome maybe,
But that just makes me who I am,
I assume, the favorite, be it a sir or a ma'am,
That farewell day in the school,
Now, I may sound like, I was such a fool,
I brought a 'Friends Forever' band,
And would have made you to promise to keep it on your hand,
Maybe destiny didn't allowed me,
Or it's not the way Its meant to be,
Either you were too busy, or I was too nervous,
Sometimes I smile, and think, how stupid I was,
And the together-time came to an end,
And as far I can picturise, the sad-celebrations were quite grand,
Just after we got separated,
Although, for a year or a two I waited,
You fell for a guy,
That whole night, all I did was just, cry,
Really, he is not right for you,
Don't hate me cuz I write the truth,
No, I wouldn't ever lie to you,
But it was really hard to loose you,
I wait till today,
To return to that same Arabian bay,
In a hope you will return,
Healing me, cooling off this burn,
I was shattered,
These eyes filled with brutality and hatred,
I kept, listening to sad songs, talking about love,
Like the green day's 'oh love, ohh loove...',
But, for an unexplainable reason, it hurt me too,
When that guy hurt you,
I wished to force him to turn you happy,
Who left you as Skelton and body cuppy,
But, how would have fulfilled that one, if none of my wishes ever drizzled,
Your heart was broken, and thoughts puzzled,
Once again you were lost,
Conservative, like a fog or a frost,
I felt sorry for your conditions,
And who won't for such a sweet girl with ambitions,
You had a tough time,
A heart break, a physical disease, loosing a family member. Really made me cryin',
Your crying face wandering my head,
Oh god give me powers so that I can cheer her, can't you see, she is sad,
Everytime I meet you,
Always finds you wearing some blue,
The whole flashback starts,
As like I shape the crafts,
Like everything is there in your eyes,
Ya, everything is visible in your eyes,
The time you came and the time you got apart,
The time I was at cloud nine, and the time I got hurt,
I could never had a blissful time with you,
Wearing a nice tuxedo, and leather shoe,
With a coffee smell in air,
And candles lit all over,
Still, sometimes I wish you were there for me too,
Like I've been for you,
Some of them have got faded now,
Some of the photographs, still are tightly stow,
But the thing which i didn't forgot,
And can even recite, if gun fires are shot,
Is that I still love you,
From the day one to now,
And will continue, till the stars would keep shining,
Who knows, how long this pain will keep rhyming,
Pardon me, for making your little secrets a bit public,
Don't worry, everything will pass with just a clocks' tick,
But I am sorry, I couldn't keep them burried in my chest,
I've lost some photographs and so, some rest,
And I've to spill out these emotions, fine if they took the words as the medium,
This story, guess who are, the water, a fish and some pebbles in an aquarium,
Also, forgive me for the mistakes I might have made,
All those inconvenience, I might have laid,
I respect you for the human you've been,
Tough, sweet, kind, and keen.
Don't care for the past, it just gets blew.
I gift my art, and this one is only for you,
You can show everybody,
I might have done it already,
That this is the gift you got,
Apart from, 'I love you a lot',
Things have changed a bit, I know,
But to what extent, who knows,
Well, I can assure, everytime you fall apart,
I'll be there, be it a fort or a cart,
Even if I am not in your life,
You'll always be in mine,
Cuz you resides in my heart.
My friends, love, whatever you takes,
Or the 'no one' barging into your life.

Heart-Break

Its raining out,alkaline
With a heat flowing, upside down,
Some floods, washing out hearts,
With the brain playing darts,
A little fog in the eyes,
And a little pain, on the bed sides,
The arms numb,
Some of the breath storms,
Taking a silent perspiration shape
Yes! It's a heart Break.
Ok its better it to be talked 'bout,
Let me whisper what my heart shout,
It's not that am not happy,
No! But its better now, not to sound creepy,
You better go, live,
It's not a big deal, all you shook, is just my belief,
It's just a stomp, hard and heart one,
It's gone, its all done,
You know,those days, how time used to fly,
And now, the same slowed down it's pace, as I started to cry.
Wait! Cry! No, no, don't misinterpret,
It's just a photograph threat,
The life photograph threat,
That our pain, grief, regret, remorse, happiness create.
It was just yesterday,
Yes when the time was all gay,
When my bike seat got your habitual,
It just turned out an incident, not even auditual,
Now, I'll not remember those times,
The glory, the mistake and happy times,
The free birds of Jove,
Because that's just the glory of love,
"You never get one you want to have always,
But you crap out, to those who actually want you"
I am happy that you settled down,
Finally found someone to take to the ball, with your red gown,
I pray, he cares for you as I did,
Then, I can say, its really, splendid,
I hope, he loves you as I do,
Because such portions of the graph don't have a undo,
I guess, he give you things,
No matter, steal or brings,
Which I didn't give to you,
That sugar and the Chou,
I believe, your dreams are finally gonna be true,
Thank god, because, with me, they might had end up just a part of the queue,
Dear friend, why are you still so worried,
You are one day going to be his bride,
Still worried! Ok, I have a life-hack,
You live, freely, fearless, I'll always be there to get your back.
Ok now, I guess you should leave.
Stop, listen!
I know I'll not be the most special person in your life,
Nor I want to be,
But I expect, you to remember this face,
And wave a hand to me,
And if someone says my name,
You smile and say, 'Hey! That's my friend'
Don't forget me, baby,
It's just a cycle,
"Sometimes it last in love,
And sometimes, its just hurts and stay"
You find him,
I'll search, again, someone like you.
I'll still not remember the ake,
Cuz its not a heart break,
No its its not a heart break,
Oh my god! Yes! It's a heart break.

The Fade-Pink Evenings

An Affection

This Relation Can't Be Replaced

Really, when I walk back into time,
Into my childhood,
Sweet memories strikes my mind,
I find that one girl, that one great girl, whom I had the best days of my life.
This one for my sisters.

We both had a habit of complaining,
Seriously not the entertaining.
Complaints about the bunks,
Leaving me in blue funks.
The mischief sweet conspiracy,
To get into the mom's abbacy,
Made just to get each other scolded by mom,
And finally ended up in our room.
You are my best friend,
To my life, you append,
When I bullied you, and you kept serving balls while I batted in the backyard for hours,
And finally turning the bat into armours.
You always tried to drag down the secrets,
 so that you can use them to have a favour, well you get,
And really, we were really the night mare for the whole house,
Scaring each other, 'see there's a mouse'.
Those, 'blue-pink' fights, when our room got the paints,
And then dreaming about the mighty giants,
When we both rolled up the quilt under our hips,
And then making promises, to get the grips.
When our night fights disturbed the whole family,
After being scolded, we laughed and whispered dimly,
We collectively torn apart the pillow covers,
Hitting each other with the books with hard cover.
Messed up the walls, with food,
And then, silently, staring each other, stood,
The cat snatch for the tv remote,
And then turning a dice to have the block vote,
Not just the television,
It was with all, adression,
the Walkman, computers and video games too,
And with the same intense argue.
We both tried to teach bicycle to each other,
Not going much more farther,
Doesn't matter, none of both actually knew,
And then tying the kite to the back of it, and cheered, 'yeah! It flew'.
I felt guilty, went some of my pranks went wrong and u fell in trouble,
But still the sentiments were arguable,
And then you again, making false tears,
Repeating the same gears,
Convincing the parents, made excuses,
Till they please or confuses.
And those, 'no, it was his fault',
'no, it was her fault',
Repeated for hours,
Struggling for powers,
Till we both got scolded,
And again, in our bed sheets we get folded.
My heart sank whenever I hurt you,
To apologise, I offered a sou,
Sometimes, being egostick, we didn't apologize,
Proving ourself to be more wise.
And everytime I had my friends visited at house,
Just like the cat and mouse,
you opened up my embarrassing secrets,
But still, no regrets.
I know, those were just to make fun and tease me,
Well its nothing in front, when you alwasy hepled and pleased me,
Everytime dad got us a softy,
And you imposed your lofty,
Always offering the last bite of yours for me,
And I always had it, I agree.
And those power cuts,
And you said,'lets act out',
They simply meant, we had nothing to do at night,
Nothing better than those pillow fight,
We were free,
And there, you always started your ghost stories,
And then asking, 'btao bacha, what are your worries',
And developing those childhood weapons,
No less than the cannons.
From anything, we fought
From brooms to bats to TV remote to rubber band to slippers to water bottles and to what not?!
Your frightful tease,
And then the convincing please,
And the time when you always used to say,
Sometimes alday,
'tuhjhe madir k pass, kachre k dibbe se utha k laye the'.
And I said, 'jaa be'.
And everytime, we were out,
Various topics talking about,
You always hold up ur card being elder,
Just like a baby minder,
Made me to do things your way,
And all I had to do was, stay.
And when , I grew up, you were the one with whom I played the mirror game,
No matter, how much popular I was in school,
You really knew my talents, my weak points, better than anyone else.
You always put up the things,
For which I am afraid to, sorting out my difficulties.
Really, how grown up I was,
But still I cried like a baby on your marriage,
Several past memories just make me think,
About those great times,
In our room, the best place we lived together.

Love you sister. Really there are certain things above humanity.

My Beautiful Woman

She may not be the smartest, or the most attractive, but she is the most beautiful, a beauty that resides inside her, something which makes her really special, someone I respect the most, someone I love the most. She is my beautiful woman. This combination of poetry and painting, on a whole, dedicated to her. #mybeautifulwoman

A Pillow

It was another late evening when Himani texted me, ‘suggest me a topic for a poem to write’.

“elaborate a bit”, I texted.

‘u know, smthng cute n probably a non living thing rather’.

After having a thought over, I suggested, ‘a pillow or a winter’s cap or a jacket’.

And finally, it was a pillow.

We both decided to write, and ya! She wrote it much better.

Here’s mine.

I open my eyes and finds you

There, in my arms

Close to my chest,

Your touch like a chou,

Sweet, gentle and fluffy

Ur arms entwined with mine

Ur hand under my head

My legs been bent over your body

And there, u smile

And the lovely, words of puffing essence

Says aloud, please, a little long

Stay here, with me

And I smell your body

It scents like me

I just fill that scent into me

It forcibly shuts my eyes

And there, you give me another few

Minutes of life on the imagination carpet.

But sweetheart, I had to leave.

'Oh no please, don't go

Hug me once again

I can't be on myself here

Let’s once again lie

Close to each other

And travel to the effortless heaven'

But there, i leave you,

Miserable, crying

On the bed, alone

On the curvy sheets

I work the whole day

And finally gets, nothing

But the evidences to realization

That am nothing.

I have no good choice

Than to be there,

In your loving arms

I weep, my face ducked into your chest

I know, it feels a little warm there

With your body on me

But, its sooths more

When you place your hand on my forehead

And your eyes smiling the same

Ur body scenting the same

And you lie, motionless

With your head on my beating heart.

I rub my cheeks,

To and forth

U adjust yourself

We both make ourselves comfortable

And once again,

We have our mental silence

In each other arms

Hugging each other,

With bliss full happiness

And a sweet smile.

And, next morning,

Again you are there,

For me, in the spoon,

My puffy fluffy pillow.

Love Birds - II

Young Love

You Are My Friend

If you are grey, how can I be green,
If you say up, how can I go with down.
If ever I need someone,
You get by my side, and say, here I am.

Everytime when I low,
You cheer me up, only yow.
We both share our lives,
And nothing can come between us,
Separate, us, the two of us.

You've been my guide, my comforter
You cove up my faults,
Spend your time with me,
Match each one, like nuts and bolts.

I know, sometimes I make mistakes
But you silently cover them.
I give you things with all my heart,
I trust you blindly,
I'll always be there for you,
All you need, is just say my name loudly.

I am always proud of you,
You always give comfort to a broken heart,
You are my help, guide, everything,
You are my friend.

I'll always tell others how good you are
The best, my friend that's who you are.
Whenever something disturbs you,
Don't let you have a relieved sigh,
I'll change the world in accordance,
I'll sooth you up.

I'll always tell the nations,
The depth of your love
No one is bigger to me than you
Not even the God sitting above.

My friend, I am never gonna leave you,
We all always walk together,
To every situation, going through,
And make everything, to both of us, better.

Just love you, dear friend, with all my heart.