A Difficult Poetry

I want to write,
But from where should I begin?
The whole saga,
Everything begins with ' I'm a woman'.
.
.
I'm a woman,
Surrounded with fear and danger,
Yet, I'm living.
Just don't ask me,
How?
At every step, on every corner,
There are 'Men',
Waiting,
Waiting for me to pass by,
And entertain their eyes,
And to bring some colors to their bored life.
They find it quite funny, chasing girls,
They find it adventurous,
They find it manly,
There is no man, who hasn't chased a girl ever, they say,
What they don't feel is that there hasn't ever a girl, who had a 'breath',
A breath of freedom,
An essence of carelessness,
A feel of a being like a man.
What they don't feel is,
That woman is not just a body and flesh,
That chasing us is not an adventure.
Don't judge my age with my words,
I suffer, throughout,
Some impose themselves on me,
Making me marry a clown of concrete,
And restricting me within boundaries.
While some hit at me, and some hit on me,
(Wow, look at me, I'm still writing,
Knowing you won't care.)
Don't worry, I'm alive,
Just don't ask me,
How?

Silhouette

Let's

Let's travel, to some place,
Somewhere we both don't know,
And scream.
Let climb a mountain,
They say it's beautiful up there,
Let's see.
Let's hire a boat,
And row Upto horizon,
Let's stand still in waves,
And breath.
Let's meet people,
Talk to them,
They say there's Almighty inside them,
Listen to them what they say,
And hear.
Let's have a cup of coffee,
Somewhere in rains,
They say its blissful,
Let's close our eyes,
And smell.
Let's dance, fingers entwined
Time never waits for anyone,
Have maximum out of this night,
And relax.
Let's be in a crowd,
Stand as others pass by,
And laugh.
Let's just walk to a stranger,
Ask for directions,
For random places unplanned,
And trust.
Let's make joke on someone,
Laugh out loud,
Till our bellies ache,
And lie down.
Let's fall in love,
They say it's dangerous, but not a crime,
Follow each other,
And feel.
Let's have dinner,
Help out each other washing the dishes,
And sleep.
Let's write something,
Something you feel,
And fly.
Let's just smile,
And smile.
Let's be together,
For who knows where might our lives takes us,
Let's share,
For who knows how long will this night last,
Let's cry,
For who knows if death is painful in actual.
Let's just,
Let's breath and do something,
For only those who've lost it, knows its value,
Let's live.

PANGS OF LOVE

If it is not in my destiny to meet you
And this is your choice
Don't let me forget this
Let me live with this sorrow
Let me carry this pain.

Even when loud beats of music fills my ears
Even when I am surrounded by a crowd celebrating for me
Remind me i have not invited you
Let me live with this sorrow
Let me carry this pain.

Even when my pockets are full
Even when I have lost the capacity to gulp another spoon of my delicious dish
Remind me I have not served you
Let me live with this sorrow
Let me carry this pain.

Even when my cheeks starts paining due to lots of laughter
Even when I had been talking for hours
Remind me I didn't yet had a word with you
Let me live with this sorrow
Let me carry this pain.

Look Across

The Incomplete Emotion

The 'Decent' Murderers

'Explain it'

'I don't know if I can, but I can try a bit'

'you are leaving us with no option'

Spoiler alert: Its another tale describing one to million

'Its true, yes, I'm into her'

'shut this stupid non-sense. What happened last night there?'

'I'll describe, but I'm afraid,

Afraid that none of you might understand,

Lets leave it to humanity. I shall proceed'

'shut up! What you did?'

'I went for a walk, probably into  unknown suburbs,

Proper moonlit night, tough road, many shrubs,

It was celebration of the fate, I was somehow invited,

Surrounded by other ladies, she was there, gently seated,

I saw her, then she returned the sight,

She was typical to get at one, beautiful soul, sad eyes, hands tied,

Breaths low, forehead drenched in sweat, ears blotched,

Crying eyes, burning brain, legs weak,

No shoes, shot down foots, probably stepped bleak,

Body with tags, hungry heart, a watch on wrist,

Scratched linen, sparkling neighbors, tragic gist,

Dried lips, face colorless, red back'

'Is he diverting us? Shut the f#©< up, and get back'

'I approached, "May I join you?",

Her dissapointed eyes, squeezed heart, happy hands though,

"will you be able, its tough, this pain. No you can't!", she probably checked.

"You, get his stuff packed"

"I can, I surely can"

"Go. Go away, and impress some other, lies don't work on me, not a fan",

"Hold this hand. I promise to walk till end"

She held. Shaking nerves, weak fingers, she was probably terrified,

I played the blues. And...and we danced,

We danced till our legs didn't stopped,

We kissed, till our heart ached,

We traveled to infinity,

A place beyond the controls of deity,

We were ahead of time,

I felt her soul, she did mine,

We experienced immortality,

We shared pain, given by the city,

The return was difficult,

Laid in darkness, finished in cult,

But we were compelled,

The clock ran out, well,

Sadly, she was lost,

I couldn't find her, I searched a lot,

She was divine. Above you all.

I returned, she didn't. She fell.

She fell into painful-heaven.

She saw a dark-light,

She won a lost-fight.

She was free. She found herself,

She broke your chains, I helped her myself,

She was an angel, just you saw a witch,

You've turned a many of 'em, I'm sure of which,

Now its time for me to smile, and accept,

Yes I loved her. Like a magic, infact'

'why the hell are you laughing?'

'Look at you, stunned. I knew you won't understand'

'We don't care to. All we want to know is, if you did or not?',

'yes I did. I can roar that'

'Any apologies for bringing this shame to our society'

'I'm proud of it. Better you remove that strip off your eyes'

'Funny. Any last wish? Its on me'

'If you ever find her, convey this message, "I've left. Will meet you soon,

Waiting outside the oblivion of heaven and hell,

Just to see, which way you proceed,

I'll follow you there,

Cos I know, there's nothing like a heaven or hell,

But, you're BEAUTIFUL,

I'll miss you up there, but you better not die soon,

Live this new life,

Live it to the end. Bye", that's it'

'Execute'

A million of gun shots were recorded that day,

The sky turned yellow,

The land was painted red,

Most importantly, what newspaper read,

It was hilarious, on the face of humanity,

"A teenager broke into a brothel, managed to kidnap a prostitute. Found. Shot to death"

They killed a thought.

They ended up an era.

They.

They all.

The Longing

Loving you forever, can't be wrong; even though you're not here, I won't move on. - Lana Del Rey(from Dark Paradise)

The Ball

The Priceless Bestowal

Don't let me look upward, my eyes may flood
My hands trembling, might get shattered in pieces
This day, have its own happiness n sorrow
I'm happy for you, angel, the biggest day of your life
But along, have to chisel away a part of my heart
My heart pounding, for the uncertain partner you might be having
All those deep memories carved and secured deep down there
Erupting volcanoes of thoughts and flashbacks
Your nervous smile, throat's boggles, and starry eyes
These breaths, deeper than the blue oceans
And these heavy eyes, forcing the dark skies
I might squeeze my lungs, spit out my heart
Its time for that hard smile, and painful console
Water the red rose in your in-laws, shower the white n yellows ones
Holding your hands with your man, I bless you this happy wedding
For this hard decision, I'm ready for this priceless bestowal

BESTOWING

How eternal was her pain,
While donating her daughter!
As if she was her last asset.

The girl was not mature enough
Yet was so girlish and easy,
That she could glimpse happiness
But was not capable of judging pain
She was a reader in fading light
Of few reasons and few eyes.

Mother said, looking into water
Don't fascinate on your face.
Fire is meant to cook
Not to burn.
Clothes and jewellery like literal illusion
Are bonds in a lady's life.

Mother said, be a girl
But don't look like a girl.


-Adapted

That Rain

The Freedom Inside

The Photographer

The Chinese Lady

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

Sing the ode
Raise the toast
This is a day to belaud
Thy beloved is all yours.

Let all your feelings be out today
Let this beauty mesmerize you
Dance with the wind
Love the aroma of roses
Be a poet today
For this is a day to belaud
Thy beloved is all yours.

Gift chocolates, be childish
Behold your beloved frimly
Perceive the one you always wanted
Don't loose this vanishing smile
For this is a day to belaud
Thy beloved is all yours.

A fine evening

I was on tryst
On a cheerful evening
Clouds heap upon clouds and darkens
My love, why you let me wait on these long, rainy hours?

Passers would pass by
Staring the flowers
And the glow on my face
Leaving me full of shame.

Have you hid yourself behind the bushes , my love?
Watching me eagerly waiting
Might be pleasing you.
But my dear love, come out now
Come before these flowers loose its fragrance
Come before these petals sheds.

Hold Me In Your Arms

The Melting Universe

If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you are not worthy. Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.  - Bob Marley

Its A Gift To You

These mixed feeling, I'm typing down,
Really strange and funny, climbing up n down,
I saw you for the first time, about ten years from now,
And would be there forever, that's my vow,
But, feels like, you moved in, just a day or two
In your casuals, I'm not sure, green or blue
With your specs on, and with a hesitated smile,
To really capture that moment, it took me a while,
You walked in, after the assembly, with your cousin,
My eyes wide open and like time's frozen,
Your eyes had the view of the entire class,
Those shiny eyes, behind the glass,
But mine, just had you,
You, the beautiful, I'm not sure, green or blue.
Days passed, and then months,
Meanwhile my heart knitting that sweet labyrinths,
'i love a girl', I said,
With all the memory and courage I had,
'you are too young for it', said my cousin,
What he meant, he knew, I doesn't,
That day, left me with a question,
Far away from the premises of education,
'i'm too young to love someone',
What does he mean,
'What do I exactly need to have in?'
Like they say in chemistry, Sodium or Chlorine,
And meanwhile, I developed the habit of watching humans, beautiful ones,
Sitting right after your desk, waving my life in different tones,
The habit of watching beautiful cloud,
I just now said your name, heard it or want me to say it aloud,
Years after years I was growing,
The strange boat, along, was rowing,
And growing was my heart,
With you too becoming a beautiful part,
To me, you were a person, rest from the billions,
There, to you, I was a person, one among those rest-of-billions,
Everyday you walked in into the class,
Like disturbing my morning grass,
Like, I've achieved for which I was there,
Like, mine n your's hearts do really cohere,
I don't even remember when do we even became friends,
A sunny day, restless on Arabian sands,
Eventually you transformed from a cloud to a line,
These words describes you, or I can say, define,
Like that line, passing right from the heart,
Joining or separating the two parts,
Like they show in pictures,
Yes, right there,in those boring lectures,
I was damn crazy for any info about you,
I collected things, related to you,
And linked many along the way,
At least if not you, these are the things which are gonna stay,
Right from the last row,
In that silence, near the window,
From there, I watched you,
Now the girl, who always wore blue,
Loved that time, when we talked,
I've kept those memories safe, preserved, stocked,
Hearing your sweet giggle,
Melting the heart, creating a reigle,
And your eyes, my god your eyes,
I saw, and then, just time flies,
Sometimes I just looked into them,
And then silence, something like the anthem,
A perfect shape, and those browns inside,
And a magic, they really abide,
Strange power they got, noise cancellation,
There's no one around, giving you that type of sensation,
It seemed like, the world is still, and the crowd is silent,
I forgot the pain, sorrow or ailment,
I couldn't even used to hear to your words,
Neither the noises, traffic or the birds,
Those beautiful leafs, behind those glasses,
'Have a look as she passes',
Those group projects with you,
Full of energy like diet mountain dew,
Those giggling chit chats, entire lecture,
Those silly jokes, those magnificent laughters,
Those indirect sarcastic fights,
Squeezed my heart, held so tight,
All those memories, perfectly photographed,
Passed, when I cried, smile, worried, laughed,
Kept into my life's albums,
Whose pages turn over every moment, with the memory storms,
Whenever you passed by me,
That moment, like...'gee!',
My heart started pounding,
Audible to the ears, could hear it sounding,
Like, the whole of my inside would come out in a puke,
I'm still alive, maybe a fluke,
I felt so strong and so weak around you, both at the same time,
Both terrified and enthusiastic, at the same time,
Like a rain in summers, but like a storm at the reaping season, both, the same time,
Both in love and in pain, at the same time.
Sometimes when you cried, in the class,
I just can't let that memory pass,
Maybe because of the pain who have,
Or some deep scars, you secretly have,
I had strange conversations in my head,
I felt like wiping off your tears, experiencing your grief, feeling bad,
My brain, always saw the other part of you,
A part, which you could never see. Ya, not even you,
I loved to have debates with you,
That just because it showed me inside of you,
And took me to the person, who you were,
Your different shapes and the colors,
I never opened myself up, or got carried away,
Cuz I never found a reason, nor a way,
I never wanted to marry, then this love would have lead to what?
Ya that was tactic, 'love and shut'
I suffered just a part, called pain,
This arms, this chest, this brain,
I knew this love's gonna hurt,
Like a polished china in dirt,
But, what could I've done,
Serious things are never a fun,
Maybe that was the only thing, I knew a bit, love,
To keep it up, I sacrificed, maybe the white pigeon or the dove,
I am not way too smart maybe,
I am not way too handsome maybe,
But that just makes me who I am,
I assume, the favorite, be it a sir or a ma'am,
That farewell day in the school,
Now, I may sound like, I was such a fool,
I brought a 'Friends Forever' band,
And would have made you to promise to keep it on your hand,
Maybe destiny didn't allowed me,
Or it's not the way Its meant to be,
Either you were too busy, or I was too nervous,
Sometimes I smile, and think, how stupid I was,
And the together-time came to an end,
And as far I can picturise, the sad-celebrations were quite grand,
Just after we got separated,
Although, for a year or a two I waited,
You fell for a guy,
That whole night, all I did was just, cry,
Really, he is not right for you,
Don't hate me cuz I write the truth,
No, I wouldn't ever lie to you,
But it was really hard to loose you,
I wait till today,
To return to that same Arabian bay,
In a hope you will return,
Healing me, cooling off this burn,
I was shattered,
These eyes filled with brutality and hatred,
I kept, listening to sad songs, talking about love,
Like the green day's 'oh love, ohh loove...',
But, for an unexplainable reason, it hurt me too,
When that guy hurt you,
I wished to force him to turn you happy,
Who left you as Skelton and body cuppy,
But, how would have fulfilled that one, if none of my wishes ever drizzled,
Your heart was broken, and thoughts puzzled,
Once again you were lost,
Conservative, like a fog or a frost,
I felt sorry for your conditions,
And who won't for such a sweet girl with ambitions,
You had a tough time,
A heart break, a physical disease, loosing a family member. Really made me cryin',
Your crying face wandering my head,
Oh god give me powers so that I can cheer her, can't you see, she is sad,
Everytime I meet you,
Always finds you wearing some blue,
The whole flashback starts,
As like I shape the crafts,
Like everything is there in your eyes,
Ya, everything is visible in your eyes,
The time you came and the time you got apart,
The time I was at cloud nine, and the time I got hurt,
I could never had a blissful time with you,
Wearing a nice tuxedo, and leather shoe,
With a coffee smell in air,
And candles lit all over,
Still, sometimes I wish you were there for me too,
Like I've been for you,
Some of them have got faded now,
Some of the photographs, still are tightly stow,
But the thing which i didn't forgot,
And can even recite, if gun fires are shot,
Is that I still love you,
From the day one to now,
And will continue, till the stars would keep shining,
Who knows, how long this pain will keep rhyming,
Pardon me, for making your little secrets a bit public,
Don't worry, everything will pass with just a clocks' tick,
But I am sorry, I couldn't keep them burried in my chest,
I've lost some photographs and so, some rest,
And I've to spill out these emotions, fine if they took the words as the medium,
This story, guess who are, the water, a fish and some pebbles in an aquarium,
Also, forgive me for the mistakes I might have made,
All those inconvenience, I might have laid,
I respect you for the human you've been,
Tough, sweet, kind, and keen.
Don't care for the past, it just gets blew.
I gift my art, and this one is only for you,
You can show everybody,
I might have done it already,
That this is the gift you got,
Apart from, 'I love you a lot',
Things have changed a bit, I know,
But to what extent, who knows,
Well, I can assure, everytime you fall apart,
I'll be there, be it a fort or a cart,
Even if I am not in your life,
You'll always be in mine,
Cuz you resides in my heart.
My friends, love, whatever you takes,
Or the 'no one' barging into your life.

The Lost Dew

After an hour long quarrel,
Finally she got off the barrel,
She fought with her father,
With those courage-flames she gather,
Finally there, following her heart,
In the winter roads, with the cold art,
Beauty, as she walks, no fear,
Keep going. Yes like that, dear,
Ear with plugged in earphones,
One after another stepping with tones,
Pupils relaxed, eyebrows stretched,
And the world, like perfectly sketched,
Enjoying the after meal walk,
Undirected, unplanned, wandering with just nature's talk,
Dark night, white fog, yellow lights, blue shoes,
Orange brain, yellow heart, red eyes, white boes,
Singing songs, waving hands,
Sharing smiles, living grands,
She stopped at sudden, there,
Wait let me see, n then share,
I don't know, what's bothering her,
There's not even any wild animal with fur,
Just two humans, teens probably, crossing the opposite way,Laughing aloud,
And now her eyes, look at her eyes, surrounded by fear cloud,
Her hands stoped waving,
Umm! Heart seems to start craving,
Her footsteps became quieter,
Body stiffed, hands lighter,
What makes her so feared?
Well, I know. The wicked smile of those guys, gives the complete gear,
Let me walk her by,
And get her clear through that guy,
As I went near, she's frightened,
'I'm here to help you, feel lightened'
'Stay away, I can manage,
The number is high on my gunnage'
She was lying, her voice shrank,
Her lips were shivering, eyes half closed, like fully drunk,
'okay. No offence. Don't worry keep walking,
Like the elephants moves and dogs keep barking'
I walked behind her, slowly,
Neck bent, like a jowly,
Saw those brutal animals pass,
No respect, no honour, no class,
'excuse me! Now can we just talk?'
'okay. And thanks, c'mon, lets have a walk'
The walk was silent,
Controlled steps, hearts violent,
'Nice weather!', just to start,
'ya', with a smirk on her heart,
'so nice to walk in winters', I added.
'well, only for you', she threaded,
'ohh, how come , not for you?,
The fog is same white for you too!',
'just only the god, not the animals,
And what else to say, other than that we are gals',
My heart melt, as she recited,
I knew where her words pointed,
Nothing was left to say,
Everything quiet, the street, grey,
A flashback ran in my mind,
Of all those sufferings, which binds,
'Can you elaborate?', just out of curiosity,
'leave it. It's just like the whole pond is dirty',
'what are you feared of exactly?',
'fear of not being alone', her thought, striking abruptly,
'okay'. You, getting her painful words?
'what else I should explain?! Many eyes, many worlds...'
I was lost, drowned into thoughts,
'...n moreover you won't understand', with her rough eyes, drought,
Now she kinda stomped on my heart,
Like when you do understand and not even offered a dart,
A moist film covered my eyes,
Now all those pride. Phew! Flies.
'this is my home. Thanks for the walk', with her eyes still, hands waving,
I managed to wear a smile,I was actually graving,
Weeks passed, she was never again seen,
That beautiful hummingbird, to fly, which was so keen,
Two papers, kept by my side,
Let's write a letter to her and slide,
"It's just a request, think over,
You are strong, don't shower,
Don't fail, never hit the end,
Don't bow, turn wherever you have to bend,
Don't loose, you are not meant to be,
Don't give up, let it be your strength to be,
Don't stop, its not your job,
Don't fear, no matter however big is the mob,
Be a fire, burn it all,
Be a storm, never fall,
Be a rain, never stop,
Be a smoke, never loose hope,
Be a river, never look back,
Be advanced, use the hack,
Be free, be among,
Live fast, die young",
And this one left, I should throw,second one,
Whosoever picks it up, hope to be a crooked one,
"Don't be brutal or a bully,
Respect, treat and let her live fully".