he, who was

lonely roads, barking dogs
silent horns, loud mourns
dry tears & longing hearts
as the van moves.
and in between lies
the hospital gowns
green curtains & blue relations
pukes of blood
and a voice struggling to queek
you laid up in the sheets
white, red and blue.
swollen eyes looking at the nurse
silent cries praying for help
and those beeps
those fucking beeps
my only hope.
medicines showed no mercy
and neither do any of the beliefs
shrinking in yourself
you inflated
mooring on to the last breaths
tears cried.
hospital gowns becoming loose
hell raising
hearts collapsing
voice shrinking
and right next to me
you held your breath as you laid down.
home, You were. - he, who was / m. sandhu

collarbone

those kisses you feathered
just a little below her neck,
had her breath caged in her throat,
that shrinking of her eyes,
and the moment she ran her hands
in your hair,
was the one where she was probably
trying to get out of her skin. - collarbone/m. sandhu

ember

like ember,
a thousand thoughts erupt
from the core,
from the surface,
from me.
thoughts to be there with you
when you cook, to help you with those curls,
i know it sounds corny, but still...
to hold your hand, cover your eyes and
show you the most beautiful evenings,
to read you poetry,
and doodle over your bare back,
to watch those lips move, as you narrate those proses which you engrave by the dawn,
to witness that magic
when our hearts conspire to sync
leaving us with goosebumps
as we entwine our fingers
in the chilly nights
beside the furnace,
to share the softness of thoughts,
and warmth of hugs,
to spoil you with a whiskey,
and show you the pure elixir of your soul
that drips everytime you speak,
to tell you how good are the cupcakes that you bake,
to make you dance in the smokey room
which is left after you burn away the burden,
i know you don't like to dance that much,
but i think you would, that time,
to count your ribs,
and watch you getting fat,
as you lazy around with the pizza,
to...
to shout to you, that I want to do, have,
everything, which you had dreamt ever since
your grandpa sang you the tales of the stubborn princesses,
to cross these fences, borders and the distances,
which this smoke has created around me,
i sob, because the smoke hurts,
and before i rise higher enough,
to have a glance of the blue sea,
i extinguish into nothingness,
and the helplessness, of not lighting up,
of not roaming like a firefly,
i suffocate to blurred vision,
with the thoughts of You. - ember / m. sandhu